Sunday, November 8, 2015

Imagine a Brian Williams interview with Ben Carson

"Stay tuned and don't touch that dial"...(thank you TV promos from the 60's and 70's) because soon you will be able to view interviews that will only be seen (ok, read) here on For instance, imagine a one on one interview with Brian Williams asking tough questions to Ben Carson. I can! Spoiler alert...Williams reveals that he was the teenager that Carson stabbed in the abdomen!

OK you've all been clamoring for the interview (or that noise may have been coming from my furnace, not sure), so here goes.

Brian: Hello Mr. Carson
Carson: That's DOCTOR turn your head and cough.
B:Sorry, doctor. Thank you for agreeing to meet with me. First of all, I read your book,
Gifted Hands. I don't want to accuse you of plagiarism, but I think title of the book was actually lifted from the Pee Wee Herman autobiography.
C:You may be right about that. I'll have my people get back to your people.
B:Now, you inisist that you had a violent childhood and actually hit your mother in the head with a hammer.
C:That's correct. I had a hammer so I hammered her in the morning, in the evening and all over this land.
B: Meanwhile, you also claim to have had a bell and a song but we won't go there.  You also say that you once stabbed a classmate in the abdomen but he was saved by his belt buckle. Turns out, that was me you stabbed! I had just gotten back from a bombing raid in Iraq when the incident occurred. Ironic that I survived being shot at in the skies over enemy territory,  yet, I return home only to be stabbed by a future presidential candidate.
C: As you know, I take pride in my violent history. Want me to look at that stab wound? I am a doctor, you know. Not to mention that the cost is covered by Obamacare!
B:That can wait. Speaking of being a doctor, I  understand that you separated conjoined twins attached at the head.
B:I also understand that they soon changed their minds and you had to sew them back together again.
C:Stuff happens, you know.
B:Thank you, doctor. I will continue this interview another time. I have to go report to my NBC parole officer.
C:Pleasure Brian

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